Night Terrors
by JadedLogic
Summary: Seras hears her terrorized dreams on a nightly basis and starts to visit. One night leads to something entirely unexpected. IXS F/F smut, violence, and romance.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:Need more IXS .**

Even in the depths of the sub levels she would hear her. Through the large manor and stone walls her vampire senses wouldn't tune out her night terrors. How Alcuard ignored it was a mystery. Surely he cared about his master? Then again maybe she thought too much of him. Without a beating heart she could still feel that twinge of pain that came with heartache. Tonight was an especially loud episode and with Alucard gone for once she decided to do something about it.

Phasing through the levels she appeared in Integra's room without so much as a knock. Integra could yell at her later for it right now she needed to be consoled.

Integra's shoulders were shaking as she sat upright in her bed holding her face in her palms. She was covered in sweat and her heart beat was pounding rapidly against the room's silence.

Integra was awake from the terror, she could still leave without her noticing her but it wouldn't stop them. Maybe if she talked to her...

" Sir." She squeaked. Integra's head snapped upwards in surprise, and the sadness that had been swimming in her blue orbs quickly vanished.

"Seras what are you doing in here?" The usual strength behind her voice was lacking.

"I..heard you screaming. "

Integra's face paled.

"Yes well... I'm fine now. Go back to your room."

Despite the order, her feet remained glued to the spot and it looked like Integra was still too shaken by her nightmare to fight her off.

She wasn't leaving her like this. Too many nights this woman was left to deal with this all alone.

"Would you like a glass of water?"

Integra opened her mouth to protest but the words fell short at seeing the concern in Seras' eyes. With a nod of her head Seras was off fetching the glass. When she returned Integra wordlessly accepted the water, drinking it at a surprisingly fast pace.

She studied Integra as the water quickly left the glass. Her complexion looked gaunt in the dark room, no doubt a result of her troubled sleep and without her glasses she felt as though integra was more vulnerable. The dull click of the glass being set on the table beside her had her snapping out of the reverie.

"Thank you seras..."

"Your welcome." She sat down on the side of integras bed hoping she wouldn't push her away.

"This isn't the first time I've heard you crying out..."

Integra briefly stiffened. She hadn't realized they could hear her it was the last thing on her mind.

"I'm afraid they just won't go away..."she breathed.

"When did you start having them?"

It was a very personal question. She couldn't stop the words from leaving her mouth either.

"It's hard to say... It's never the same dream." Integra was lost for a moment, her mind traveling to a far off place, only to return with a troubled expression. Seras waited for her to speak but she never uttered a sound. There were tears in her eyes. The observation had her pulling Integra into a comforting embrace.

She could feel all of Integra's tension ease away at the simple gesture, and soon warm arms were returning the embrace.

"I want to help you," she cooed. "you deserve a good nights sleep after all the work you do during the day." Arms wrapped even tighter around her as she said this. "What can I do to make it better?"

She could feel Integra still trembling in her arms, her small frame unable to fight off the involuntary reaction. Seras did her best to calm her, stroking her hair, marveling at how soft the strands were beneath her hand.

"Stay." Her chest swelled at the word. She wouldn't have left if she had told her too but hearing Integra say this meant she was finally letting down her guard, that maybe she would care to confide in her.

"Okay ."

Integra knew that keeping Seras with her was beyond appropriate but it had been so long since she had felt the warmth of another's embrace, despite what little heat her body actually gave off. The feeling had her holding on tightly, recalling what it felt like to be held by someone that cared. She had needed the embrace more than she thought as Seras comfort somehow gave the tormenting emotions an escape, leaving her mind in the form of tears. Before she was aware of it, or able to stop it, she was sobbing into Seras' shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it ?"

The question had her heart constricting as she recalled the source of her nightly terrors. If she told her. Nothing would ever be the same...

"It's complicated."

"I have all eternity to listen." She joked. A soft chuckle left Integra, the feminine sound music to Seras' ears.

"I often have terrors about my father's death... And of others that are still alive. Sometimes I'm the one pulling the trigger. Other times I'm just watching. Doing nothing. I can't imagine losing the people I've killed in these dreams...and it makes me miss my father."

Seras moved a hand up the small of her back slowly massaging circles against the fabric. A sigh left Integra as the action began to comfort her.

"I can't say that I know what you're going through. But I do know that dwelling on the past is never a good idea. There are far too many regrets. It's best to live in the present. Enjoy what you have you know?"

Integra pulled away to look at Seras.

"My past haunts me Seras. I would gladly live in the present if these memories just went away." There was a hint of anger behind her words. Had she said the wrong thing? She wasn't very good at this...

"Then perhaps you need to make new memories. To replace the bad ones."

Integra's eyes darkened briefly.

"And just what kind of memories are you suggesting?" Integra's voice came out sultry, the soft breathy tone causing her to suddenly feel very aware of the current position they were in. Integra was pressed firmly against her, the warmth of her body and curves giving way to a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Good ones." It was all she managed to say before warm lips found hers, soft and full of longing.

This hadn't been what she meant but she wasn't going to protest. Integra was the one who initiated it ,and it felt too good to push her away. Deep down she knew she always had an attraction to the woman.

"Seras." Integra breathed. "Please..."

The need behind her words had her quickly returning the kiss. Integra's breath hitched slightly at the sudden heat in their kiss and she was pushing against Seras with need.

"Are you sure about this?" She gasped between kisses.

"No." Integra replied. "But I'm too awake now to stop it."

Integra hand moved to Seras thigh, trailing up its length and pushing up her skirt.

This one act had Seras hands questing in a similar manner, as she pulled the bottom of Integra's night gown upwards. Integra didn't stop her, and helped by lifting her arms. When their eyes locked once more there's was a burning fire in her blue orbs. This was the Integra she knew, not sad and lost but strong and unflappable. Except now, there was desire in the usual steely gaze, twisting her stomach with knots. Their lips touched again, but this time it was more urgent, as if time was slipping away from them, a dream that they both would soon wake from. The feeling had Seras moving against her just as urgently, pushing her back against the sheets and unhooking Integra's bra. A gasp left Integra's lips as her chest met the nights cold air. Seras lips trailed away, moving down to suck on a taut nipple. More sounds of ragged breath met her ears and she wanted to draw them out even more. She tenderly brushed a hand against the flat span of Integra's stomach, the muscle moved beneath her hand, sensitive to the light touch.

"Seras..." She moaned her name, enticing her to drag the hand to the area between her legs. In one gentle movement her hand was beneath the band, sliding the garment off to allowing her hand to move freely up and down against her.

Another gasp, and she was moving her hand faster, wanting to see this beautiful woman on the brink of pleasure.

In this intimate moment she could see the emotions clearly playing across Integra's face as she gave into the desire. There weren't anymore barriers to breakdown this was Integra's true self, and she craved it. How she no longer looked so serious, that the small lines from knitting her brow so often disappeared, and how even her eyes felt softer. Seeing her in this rare and personal state was making her heart throb and her body wet. It was confusing to say the least. A sudden hitch in Integra's breath oddly drew her attention to the nape of her neck. She wanted to kiss it, to feel the pulsing vein beneath her lips.

Without a second thought, her lips were tenderly exploring the skin causing Integra's pulse to quicken even more.

"Yes ..." She breathed. "feels so good."

Seras couldn't help smiling into her neck as she heard this, finally she was able to make Integra feel better. She inserted several fingers inside of her and another soft mew escaped her.

As she pumped faster Integra's body started to squirm beneath her.

The grip on her shoulder's tightened and she could feel Integra's climax approaching. Faster still, and suddenly Integra's muscles clamped around her followed by a cry of pleasure. In the moments following Seras found herself captivated by how beautiful she looked, breathless and exposed. She stared too long though and blue eyes were flying to hers. A tinge of pink spread across Integra's face when they locked. She was blushing!

"Thank you." She said before the silence grew.

"You're welcome." Seras didn't want this to be over but there had been a shift in Integra's behavior. Something told Seras she should go. Without so much as a goodbye she phased away, sinking through the mattress and heading back to her room to think about what just happened.


	2. Chapter 2

Integra jolted upright in her bed. It hadn't been this bad in a long time. She wiped the tears in her eyes and took a moment to gather herself. It had all felt so real.

"I didn't know if I should wake you."

Seras voice carried into the dark room and she stiffened at the surprise. She hated to be seen like this.

"That's okay…" She wished she had woke her though.

Seras sat down on the side of the bed much like the night before and she instantly went back to the memory, Seras mouth against her, her fingers inside her…. She let out a shuddery breath and hoped Seras couldn't sense how much she was already craving her touch. They had crossed a boundary that shouldn't have been crossed last night.

"Dont…"

Seras paused in her movements.

"Do you want me to go?"

"No."

"Then what-"

"Lay with me."

Her heart skipped with nerves as Seras wordlessly climbed onto the bed beside her.

When Seras respectfully kept her distance she moved over to the blonde herself, wrapping an arm around her waist and resting her head atop her shoulder. There was nothing wrong with this at all.

Neither of them spoke. It was hard to know what to say anyway. They had come to a silent understanding that this was what Integra needed. A body to hold onto, someone to be there for her. Even if that very body was a vampire.

Seras moved a hand to her head and slowly combed through her hair. The touch felt intimate and she couldnt help moving into Seras a little more.

"You're hair is so soft." Seras breathed. "I wish mine was like yours."

She brought up a hand to touch Seras locks and smiled softly.

"Your hair is fine the way it is."

"You're just saying that."

"No. I'm not. "

Seras smiled down at her and it was suddenly obvious to her that something was happening between them. No matter how much she didn't want to acknowledge it Seras had found a way into her heart.

"Do your nightmares ever stop?"

"If I'm lucky there will be a night or two…."

They never really talked like this. Their conversations during the day rarely lasted a minute and usually revolved around escariot. She realized she knew nothing about Seras.

"Have you seen anyone about them?"

"No but maybe I will."

She didn't really want to think about them anymore the they were draining. Seras sensed her apprehension and didn't ask about them anymore. The silence in the room continued to grow but it wasn't an uncomfortable one. It was nice to simply lay there with the comfort of Seras body beneath her. But the silence soon gave way to the buzzing thoughts in her mind.

"I don't think I'll be going back to sleep anytime soon...care to join me for a walk?"

"Sure."

She stood from the bed and wrapped her robe around her. Seras silently trailed behind her before they settled into a comfortable pace beside one another. Minutes into the walk she finally broke their silence. A silence she realized Seras gave out of respect.

"My father was a knowledgeable man dedicated to the queen and his country." she started. "He taught me a lot in my childhood. But when he spoke to me about vampires. He led me to believe they were nothing but monsters." Seras steps became noticeably wary as she breached the subject. "Alucard is a monstrosity the true definition of a vampire. However I don't see that in you. "

Seras smiled weakly at her.

"Of course that may change… you are after all still a young vampire."

"I could never be like Alucard."

"I hope so."

The mood shifted uncomfortably between them. Seras was clearly upset with the direction of the conversation.

"You aren't a monster Seras you're more human than myself most of the time."

She turned away from the gaze Seras was giving her and looked to the sky. She didn't want to see the hurt in her eyes. The stars were a nice distraction, their shine reminding her of their own insignificance in the universe. The mention of monsters had drawn Seras back into her own memories.

" I never got a chance to thank you the day the Valentine brothers attacked..."

"You don't have to."

"But I do…. If you hadn't stopped me-"

"Seras. I did what was necessary."

"Still…."

She saw the smallest quiver in Seras lip and knew she was trying hard not to cry. The transition from human to vampire was without a doubt difficult.

"What do you miss the most?"

Seras eyes widened before falling to the ground.

"It's silly but I miss being able to feel my own heartbeat."

Maybe she shouldn't have asked but she wanted to try and understand. She had expected her to answer with a missed loved one or something materialistic but not that.

"I hardly notice mines there but I imagine it's strange without one."

"Yeah…"

"Would you go back to that night and change things if you could?"

"No...I don't think I would."

"Why not?""

Seras smiled.

"I'd never meet you."

She fell speechless. She hardly thought she was anyone special.

Seras seemed to realize how bold of a statement that actually was and shied away from it.

"or Walter….and the Wild Geese."

"That's true."

Her heart was fluttering oddly in her chest despite Seras attempt to hide her statement.

"I wasn't expecting it to be this cold out…I think it's time we head back in."

Seras agreed with her but she could see the disappointment in her eyes. It was the same disappointment she felt at ending their time together.

"Do you...want me to go back to your room?"

She did but knew it was best if she didn't.

"No. I'll be fine now. Thank you. Good night Seras."

"Good night."

* * *

She sighed and set down her pen. She still wasn't getting anything done.

She just couldn't get Seras out of her head. Neither of them had brought up the other night but now she was beginning to think they should. It was eating away at her constantly.

She went down to the firing range, telling herself it was to inspect operations, that she wasn't keeping her eyes glued to a certain vampire.

Seras aim was deadly, and impressive. No doubt a result of being on the force.

She watched her hit a small target that looked to be miles away.

Seras set down her gun and looked uncharacteristically smug about it.

"Sir Integra!"

The Captain spotted her. _Great._

She looked over the captain's approaching shoulder and met Seras eyes. They were slightly surprised but mostly curious. When their gazes connected Seras smiled brightly at her and she fought off the urge to return it.

"Anything I can do for you sir?"

"Good Evening Captain. I thought I might see my men out here However, It seems to be just the police girl practicing now. Why is that?"

She already knew the answer.

"The men have already done their drills for today. Officer Victoria has personally requested this time to train. I have offered to supervise though she doesn't seem to need my help. Her skillsets are well beyond our expectations."

"That's good to know...I'd like to borrow her time now. You may return to your quarters for the day."

"Yes sir." He gave her a nod before leaving the field.

Seras was still looking over at her. Her rifle was halfway slung over her shoulder as she watched her approach.

"Hello Seras."

"Sir."

"I've heard good things about your marksmanship."

"Well I do have experience."

She raised a brow.

"The captain says you've exceeded expectations." Seras smiled at her. "But If you're as good as he says you'll be able to show me how to shoot that rifle."

She didn't know why she said that but now that it was out there she was excited by the idea.

"You've never shot a gun before?"

"Pistols yes but never a rifle."

Seras took the rifle off her shoulder.

"It's not so different. Stand here."

She moved to where Seras directed her, desperately trying to push down the nerves the vampire gave her lately.

" I always treat it like it's loaded even when I know it's not. So I keep the barrel angled down and my finger off the trigger until I'm ready to shoot."

Seras handed her the rifle. It wasn't as heavy as she imagined it to be. She kept it pointed away from them just as Seras instructed.

"You'll want to bring the butt of the rifle high on your chest and near the center of your body." Seras adjusted her arms to show her what she meant.

"Press your cheek firmly into the stock."

Seras hand gently fell onto her left shoulder as she guided her into a better shooting stance. With Seras standing so close now the butterflies in her stomach felt more like a flock of birds. "Your left hand should be supporting the forestock."

Seras grabbed her left hand and put it into position. She could feel Seras breasts pressing into her as their personal space became limited.

"Look through the scope and zero in on your target."

Seras kept her hand on the rifle, taking up a stance behind her to help aim.

She was fully capable of doing this herself but having Seras there to guide her was oddly warming. She felt...protected and more sure of what she was doing. It wasn't the feel of her body pressing into her she told herself.

"Try and hit the closest target there." Seras voice met her ear and she suppressed a shiver. "Here."

Seras guided her to the target.

"Pull the trigger when you're ready and remember to keep a steady hand."

Seras grip remained on her even when she was ready to fire. She didn't want her to let go either.

With the pull of the trigger came success. It wasn't a perfect shot but she hit it.

"You got it."

The excitement she felt at hitting the target was more for Seras than herself.

She lowered the rifle and Seras hands fell away.

"Have I exceeded your expectations?" There was a suggestive tone in Seras voice that had her feeling breathless. She hung the rifle over Seras shoulder with her hand lingering a little too long on her shoulder.

"Yes."

Seras eyes darkened for a moment before suddenly sobering up.

"Good."

She had hoped for a better response but realized Seras was being conservative for a reason. Alucard.

"Don't stop on my account." He grinned. "Things were just starting to get interesting."

Despite her best attempt to stop it she felt her cheeks grow warm with embarrassment. He was so frustrating at times.

"Alucard leave us be."

"As you wish..." He chuckled just before vanishing but the damage had been done. She couldn't stay any longer.

Seras tried handing back the rifle to shoot some more but she refused it.

"Sorry I would stay but I have some calls to make."

"Oh. Of course. Good bye sir..."

They both knew she didn't have any calls.


	3. Chapter 3

They'd fallen into a routine at this point. For the past couple of nights she'd visit her and Integra would have her stay. It was always innocent but the desire to do more was always there.

"I was wondering if you might show…" Integra was sitting in a chair by her night table, nursing a cigar in one hand and a tumbler in the other.

"I just wanted to make sure everything was alright."

"Hmm..." Integra let out a long stream of smoke. "everything's fine."

There was just something off about her tonight that didn't sit well with her. Maybe it was the way she was talking or it was the glass in her hand. Either way this didn't feel like the Integra she knew this was a stranger, an odd and worrisome version. She stood there, motionless and uncertain of how to handle this, until Integra spoke some more.

"Am I to assume you'll do this every night?"

"I'll stop if you want me to."

Integra drew in another puff of her cigar and exhaled.

"That's a good vampire."

It was almost resentful the way she said it. Integra set her glass down onto the nightstand in a slow heavy motion.

"Sir I don't-"

"Shut up."

She did but more out of shock than obedience.

"I don't want to hear your voice." Integra added spitefully. She rose from the chair and Seras just looked on in a stupor. "You don't seem to understand how things are supposed to go around here."

There was anger in her voice and it was for her, she was certain of that. "I am your master and you are my servant. These nightly visits are unwarranted. "

"I won't-"

"Let me finish." She practically hissed. Integra prowled over to her with a fire in her steely blues. "I never asked you to help me. I never said I wanted anything."

The more Integra spoke the fiery her words came. It was beginning to make her uncomfortable.

"Yet here you are. Every. Night. And it's….frustrating." The fire extinguished at that and she turned away.

"I can't sleep anymore and it's not the dreams that haunt me."

Integra let out a shaky breath. "Seras you can't come here any more."

"But-"

"I'm ordering you to stop."

"Yes sir…"

She felt her heart breaking at that. All she wanted was for Integra to have some peace of mind. It was never her intention to become her reason for not sleeping. But Integra should know she would never do anything to harm her. She never hated being a vampire more than in this moment.

"I'm sorry I'll just go now."

"No. Not until I tell you to." Integra said. "Come here."

She beckoned her over to where she stood by the chair. "Sit."

She hesitantly complied. There had been a sudden shift in her demeanor.

Integra quickly downed the rest of her drink and redirected her attention back to her. There was a new determination in her eyes.

"You aren't to get up until I say so."

The old Seras never would have followed through on such a command but she was beginning to realize her old life was no longer hers. Integra was her master now. She would do whatever she wanted.

She sat in the chair aptly looking over at her. Integra wouldn't meet her eye. She seemed to be fighting with herself but on what she couldn't tell. Integra paced for a moment or two, drawing in several puffs from her cigar. Despite the obvious agitation she found Integra to still be just as captivating as her normal self. She still had that strong arrogance about her, that power and confidence that drew her in. She had no problems just sitting there, watching.

"I don't even know where to begin…" Integra started. "You're a vampire but you don't act like one. I can't treat you like the monster you should be because you aren't."

Integra was stumbling over herself. She was all out of sorts she realized. Her cravat hung loosely from around her neck, her jacket had been cast aside long ago and her eyes were weary from what had to be a lack of sleep.

Every part of her wanted to get up and pull her into her. She was told not to move though and through that she was bound.

"I understand."

Integra turned towards her.

"No you don't Seras…."

"Then tell me."

Her pacing stopped and she moved to sit on the edge of her bed, carrying herself as though she were physically wounded.

"I thought nothing of that first night you came in here. I assumed it would be a one time thing but you keep coming back." Frustration laced her words. "and I know nothing else has come of these visits but I can't help wanting it… Do you see why you can't come here anymore?"

"I get why you think I shouldn't come here but that's not what you need."

"What I need is for you to just…." Their eyes locked and whatever Integra had intended to say fell short. Integra gripped the bed sheets beside her and forced the words out. "I need you to get over here."

Was Integra implying that she….

"It's not on order Seras."

Integra looked small sitting there waiting for her to move, the fear of rejection making her hesitant.

"But I would really appreciate it."

She let out a breath and made that move towards Integra. These past couple of nights had left her wanting more but she didn't want to risk losing the time she got to spend with her. Having permission, knowing it was mutual left her eager.

She pushed Integra back onto the bed and straddled her waist. She met her eyes searching for answers. She saw a vulnerability that hadn't been there before. Integra was willingly giving herself up. She didn't know how to treat that either. Was this just sex?

She reached for the buttons on her blouse and slowly started to undress her, working on taking it slow. She'd figure this out soon enough. Integra hands moved to rest on her hips and she heard her give a small breathy moan.

She wasn't even touching her yet. Integra continued to move her hands along her hips, slowly inching towards the top of her waistband.

"Seras come on now I won't break…"

She ran her hand up along her now exposed stomach and leaned down to catch her lips. Integra eagerly kissed back further running her hands along her curves.

As they kissed she worked on pushing away the fabric of Integra's shirt, feeding into her desire to move this along. She popped the button on her pants using just one hand and Integra helplessly moaned into her.

She moved her hand beneath Integra's underwear and touched her where she was craving it. Integra instantly moved into her, the pulsing of her veins whirling in her ears. She had to drown the sound out by focusing on kissing her deeper. The change made Integra's actions even more fervent; her hands pulling down her skirt and clawing away at her jacket.

"Lift your hips…" She compiled using the time to remove Integra's pants as well. When they were both completely bare Integra took the initiative and pulled her lips back to hers. She could still taste the trace of her cigar but she didn't mind.

"I'm losing my patience." Integra was said teasingly but with an urgency behind it. She wouldn't keep her any longer.

The hitch in Integra's breath was almost instant and the steely woman was pulling them closer together. The room filled with her labored breaths and the sound of Integra's headboard banging up against the wall. It suddenly woke something in her, a side of her she didn't know how to properly control and she was caught in a lust-filled frenzy. Integra's eyes were shut in bliss but if she had opened them should would have seen the switch in the vampire's eyes. They were bright red and hungry. She moved harder against Integra, feeding into the primal force taking over her. She lost control of her body and was beginning to fear for Integra. But the woman beneath her was in rapture, urging her to continue, breathing out her name and she was powerless to stop. Integra dug her nails into her back as she reached her climax, and control slipped further away. She must've done something because Integra was now regarding her with a worried look.

"Seras?"

She couldn't respond. Her reply bubbled up in her mouth but the vampire in her wouldn't let her. Integra attempted to sit up but she pushed her back down.

"Ok Seras. That's enough." But it wouldn't listen. It wanted her beneath her and moaning. Shame immediately filled her as she helplessly remained under its hold.

"Seras." Integra met her eyes and she saw the switch to understanding in her leader. "I know you can fight it Seras. You've done it before."

For a moment she regained a fragment of self awareness looking into Integra's eyes but it fell away as the vampire in her pumped a hand in and out. Integra was caught between her fear and pleasure. Seras wasn't hurting her but if she couldn't regain control there was no guarantee what would happen.

"Seras." She bit her name out trying not to sound too lust-filled. "I know you can hear me. Focus on-oh-" Seras mouth latched onto her breast, teeth biting harder than usual, as this new version of her took over. She hadn't drawn any blood but it worried her something might happen if she did. "Focus on your third eye."

Seras internally stopped fighting with the vampire and did as Integra asked of her. Once she did that she was finally able to calm the overwhelming takeover. She removed her mouth from Integra and looked down at her in shame. Integra let out a breath of relief and she felt horrible.

"Integra...I..I'm sorry. I didn't mean for-"

"It's okay Seras. I know."

She was shaking now reality hitting her hard. She could've killed Integra. She lost control. She wouldn't have been able to live with the guilt had anything happened to her.

Integra sat up and wrapped her arms around her, knowing what she was going through and she wanted to cry.

"Nothing happened." Integra comforted. "We're both okay." But she couldn't keep from feeling guilty. She recalled the sliver of fear in her eyes and hated that she was the cause of it.

"I don't think I should stay." She rasped.

"I want you to stay."

"But I nearly hurt you. You saw how hard it was for me to control myself . I don't want to risk that happening to you again."

"I won't let it happen again."

"How-"

"Just trust me." Blue eyes pleaded with her to listen and she yielded. Any other time she would have gladly spent the night but her confidence was gone and she was feeling fearful.

Integra pushed her back onto the bed and slowly mounted her.

"I'm going to take this slow. We won't rush into it. But I want you to focus on staying in control."

"Integra I don't-" She shut her up with a kiss.

"I said trust me." She nodded and swallowed back her fear.

Integra latched onto her neck and she could feel a familiar sensation in the back of her mind.

"Focus on what you feel." Integra breathed. "Recognize what's you and what isn't."

She pushed back the urge in her mind and locked her eyes onto Integra who was gradually moving her lips further down her body.

"Now lock it away."

Hot breath met her inner thigh and it nearly jumped her. Integra hovered, waiting for her to reign over it before continuing. It was much harder this time with Integra on top. It was urging her to flip their positions but she fought with it. Integra took her lack of movement as a sign of control and she made the final plunge. It came back with a vengeance but she managed to push it away before it could control her. She imagined a cell in her mind and trapped it there. Just as Integra urged her and it worked.

The feeling of success quickly became forgotten with Integra's tongue brushing up against her. She grabbed a fistful of Integra's hair and she saw the woman look up, checking her eyes to see if it was really her in control. Integra smirked at her and continued. She threw her head back and squirmed beneath Integra. It took more skillful strokes of her tongue to bring her over the edge and she was pulling further on Integra's roots. When it was over Integra crawled up the bed and laid down beside her. The events that just transpired made her fall even more for Integra and that made being a vampire all the more upsetting.


	4. Chapter 4

The monster inside of her began to show itself more often now. She didn't want to alarm Integra but ever since that night it was becoming even more sporadic and compulsive. It was beginning to affect her thoughts too, telling her to do things, urging her to do more than just kiss Integra. It wanted her, all of her. She didn't know which thoughts were her own and which were the vampire's anymore. She wanted things to go back to the way they were….before she obsessed over Integra.

"Seras." It was early into the night and Integra had sought her out in the courtyard.

"I had hoped you would've come and visited me by now." it had been three long torturous days but ever since that night she was frightened to get too close to Integra.

"I thought you could use the space.. " Integra sat down next to her and regarded her with soft knowing eyes.

"I was never afraid of you Seras...I knew you wouldn't hurt me."

"I worry I'll hurt you if it happens again. " Integra grabbed her hand and she felt the slightest surge of that lingering presence. Integra always excited it.

"I know you won't."

She didn't deserve her.

"Come inside. I want your company."

She followed along hopelessly enamoured.

They didn't do anything but sit and exchange a few words here and there. It was nice. Integra had some paperwork to catch up on while she sat nearby. Integra didn't even mind her staring. She was too captivating to look elsewhere anyway. The way she furrowed her brow every so often or brushed away a falling strand of hair. She moved her gaze to the cigar hanging loosely from her lips when it started again. It didn't even creep up on her this time. It just surfaced the moment she thought about how attractive Integra was when she was working. It was so overwhelming that her control tactic failed to be of any use.

"Seras?" Integra snubbed out her cigar and looked to her draculina noticing the shift. Seras was practically clawing at her chairs armrests. "Is everything alright?"

"Please...Run." Seras gasped. Integra had truly never believed Seras would ever hurt her but the new and unfamiliar gleam in her eyes suddenly had her thinking differently. She reached for her pistol but Seras reacted too quickly. Her wrist and body were slammed over the desk, with Seraa body wedging itself between her legs.

Oh no.

"SERAS." She knew it wasn't the real Seras but she had to get try. "Get off of me."

Lips nipped at her ear and she shuddered. A part of her was actually liking this.

Seras roughly pulled down her pants and she gasped. It was embarrassing how wet she was.

Seras didn't even mess around she went straight for her folds. Holding her down against the desk with one hand while the other filled her.

She gripped onto the wood and held back the cries that wanted to come out. This wasn't right. Seras wasn't in control but she was enjoying every damn second of it. The way Seras felt against her, the hard and possessing way she touched her. It was a completely new and thrilling sensation

In which Seras was going to make short work of her. She moaned and Seras took off the rest of her clothing. Tossing aside her jacket and tearing her shirt to fully expose her breasts.

"Integra." Seras moaned her name and latched onto her neck. Licking and sucking the skin there as if she she were a sweet dessert.

She let herself go for a moment, giving into the pleasing sensations, missing her touch over these last couple of days, until she felt Seras trembling against her . It made her realize just how badly she was struggling against this. Guilt hit her hard. She hadn't really even tried to talk her out of it.

"Seras it's okay." She breathed. Lips continued their descent. "You're in control."

But the forceful squeeze of her breast said otherwise. It was easy to forget just how strong Seras was.

Seras groaned into her ear and she could feel Seras slipping away further.

"Seras. Your third eye." she reminded. At this point there was no stopping the waves of pleasure that suddenly went through her. Seras had her panting and writhing against the desk. Red hungry eyes continued to devour her as she came down from her high. Seras removed her hand offering her just a moment of reprieve before replacing it with her mouth.

"S-seras." Fuck. This was too good. Seras tongue swirled around inside of her. "You need to stop now... Y-ou aren't hurting me but you have to stop."

Seras got angry at the command. Her hand came up and struck her in the jaw. Oh wow. Ok. Ow.

"Seras!" The hand returned and she hissed in pain for a second time. "Please don't make me call for him. You don't want that. I don't want that."

Seras kept going her mouth assaulting her in a deliciously sinful way. But Seras was getting progressively more violent too. Her nails digging into her thighs and teeth starting to bite.

She was nearing another climax and she feared what it would do to the both of them.

"Seras please….Y-you can stop. I don't want to call for him."

But she knew Seras had lost. It was a horrible feeling. She cried out in pleasure once more and it was their downfall. Seras went rabid. Seras picked her up and pressed her up against the wall. Any chance of pleasure was crushed by the bruising grip against her.

"I'm sorry Seras…."

This was going to be a knife to both of their chests.

"Alucard!"

His appearance was instantaneous, his form emerging from the manors walls.

"Retain her."

He wore a grin, that malicious mocking grin he always seemed to be sporting. Seeing it had her feeling even worse for Seras.

"Don't hurt her." She added but he had already thrown her across the room.

"Oops." He chuckled . She quickly threw on her jacket in an attempt to cover herself up as best as she could lest Walter see her naked too! She wanted to rush over and check up on Seras but she was already back on her feet. Her eyes locking onto Alucard. No.

Seras was going to end up getting herself killed.

"Don't hurt her." she commanded again but this time with more of a shake in her voice. She realized now just how much Seras meant to her.

"As you wish." He sent out chains from within his being their black and malicious nature seemingly sucking out all the energy in the room. They endlessly wrapped around Seras until she was no longer able to move. She fought against them for what felt like hours until finally she just stopped, defeated and worn .

The red in her eyes faded but had Seras reduced to tears. It was such a heartbreaking sight seeing Seras chained up like an animal.

"Oh Seras…" she rushed over, feeling her chest constrict but Seras turned her head away in shame.

"My master and pet do not know?"

They both turned to him.

"Know what?" She commanded.

"The consequences of a vampire mating with a human."

"No..."

Seras head lowered once more while Alucard explained .

"The allure of human flesh and blood will become too much. she'll go mad and kill you. it's the natural order of things. Unless you become a creature of the night yourself. "

"I'll do no such thing."

"Seras has already claimed you which means these urges will remain."

Seras sobbed even harder. God dammit. This wasn't supposed to happen.

"Then….I suppose we'll have to keep our distance. "

Alucard barked out a rich laugh.

"Might I also suggest not dressing so….sparingly."

She blushed at her attire. It was hardly her fault.

"Shell come after you like a jackal in the night. The way I see it you only have two options." And just like that he was gone. More of his mocking laughter chasing after him.

The chains around Seras slowly dissipated and she tensed. Nothing was ever going to feel the same now.

Seras let out another sob when she noticed her apprehension to be around her without the chains.

"I….raped you…and ….and ...I hit you…." Seras wiped at the stream of tears. "Just...kill me."

"No!" She lifted Seras head. "Don't even suggest such a thing."

".What I did it was so... disgusting.I'll never forgive myself. I don't want to do that again to you. Please…. "

"I won't kill you."

"But what else can we do. You heard him-"

"Let me think on it."

Why hadn't her father warned her about this sort of thing!

She stood up and Seras noticed her lack of clothing.

"Alucard... did he see you?"

"Yes."

"Oh my god." Seras shook with guilt "Integra I'm sorry."

"I know Seras…."

She didn't know who felt worse right now.

"W-what if I come back tonight... "

"I'll have Alucard make sure you don't.. "it was painful to say but even more painful to see the look on Seras face.

"Good." but Seras still looked wounded. She was afraid this might be the end of her vampire.

"Stay strong Seras. We'll figure this out soon enough."

She placed a kiss to Seras cheek and held her breath, uncertain of Seras state of mind, but she remained the same.

"I think it's best if you return to your room now."

Seras sniffled and nodded.

"Goodbye…"

Seras said it like it was the last time they ever get to see one another and she just wished for once she could have something good in her life stay.


	5. Chapter 5

Her heart was heavy lately, her soul and body equally as exhausted from the last couple of days. Sleep was even more unattainable, eluding her like smoke through her hands. She missed Seras. Her company too comforting to forget

But she had to. Another tear fell onto her pillow and she wondered when they had started. Minutes ago? Hours? Everything felt so numb.

A dark laugh, the sounds of gunfire, and shuffling bodies could be heard outside her bedroom and she covered her head with her pillow trying to drown it out. Alucard was keeping guard and she knew what it meant. Poor Seras….

The morning sunlight had her rising far before a decent ounce of sleep came to her. She dressed anyway. Ready to face the world but she wasn't prepared for the scene that first met her in the hall. There were endless bullet holes decorating the walls and empty casings frequented her every step. The haunting scene was far too painful to look at. She knew what it meant.

Alucard was still lurking, following her and keeping away from the sunlight. It made her stomach sick.

"How is the police girl?"

"Subdued for now but I must say I haven't had this much fun in centuries." She clenched her fists by her sides. He had to be baiting her.

"I'd put a bullet in her and she'd just get back up."

"Enough." she warned. He chuckled.

"She's resilient like me."

She wasn't in the mood for his games right now! This was not a joking matter either.

"You're dismissed." she bit out.

He grinned and disappeared. She sighed and found herself looking at more bullet holes. How long had Seras been trying? It concerned her deeply but more for the vampire than herself. It was only going to get worse from here.

"Is everything alright Miss?" Walter was pouring her morning tea. He was completely in the dark on her situation and she wasn't sure if she wanted to let him know. She grabbed the cup and nodded. It was clear though he wasn't buying it.

"Your father often struggled with understanding the creatures." he said. "In the end he found it easier to just call them monsters but you and I both know that's not the entire story."

"Walter…" She set the cup back down. "I know Alucard is a monster. He's not the problem."

Walter raised an eyebrow and she almost told him to leave. But he was the closest thing she had to a friend now, more of a father figure really. "It's Seras…"

"Oh?"

"She's still very much a human in my eyes and that's the problem."

"Would it be easier if she were like Alucard?"

"No. God one Alucard is bad enough…" Walter chuckled.

"Then what is the problem?"

She leaned over her desk propping her head over her elbows.

"She's a vampire."

Walter was silent now. If she was hoping he had some solution to her problem she was wrong. She sighed again and Walter regarded her even more curiously.

"I noticed quite a few bullet holes in the Hellsing interior design today."

"That's Alucard's doing."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Seras is…lusting after me." she knew she was blushing having to admit that in front of Walter. "She can't control it. Alucard is fighting her off for now."

"For now?"

"Yes. We can't let this go on. Something needs to be done."

"Perhaps if we sent her away?"

No. She couldn't she was too attached to the vampire.

"She would just come back."

"If it's your life in danger I am afraid our only option might be to kill her."

"No. I won't do that to her. This is my fault to begin with if I had just kept my distance!"

"Kept your distance?"

Walter was just as clueless as she had been.

"I…" She cleared her throat and sat up a little taller. "I let Seras get too close."

"Oh." Then he noticed her blush. "Oh! So it's true then. The lore I've read. Humans and vampires. Interesting." Could this get anymore embarrassing?

"It must've been on several occasions then if Seras is coming after you with such fervor."

"Yes." she seethed.

"It's either you or her that dies Integra. That's the only outcome." She knew that and that was the problem.

The night started off quiet. She lay in her bed staring at the door just waiting for the real Seras to come and join her. But naturally it was an impossibility. Alucard's voice broke through her room's silence.

"Police girl. Be a good little pet and return to your room."

"I just need to speak with Integra."

"And I want one hundred virgins. "

"Please...I'll be quick it's important."

She sat up in her bed, heart pounding. She wanted to see Seras.

"Any closer and my bullets will find their way to your chest." He said far too calmly.

"Okay….could you just tell her...tell her I-" Gunshots fired. She held back her sob and rubbed at her eyes filling with tears. This was cruel. It didn't even sound like Seras was trying to attack her this time and that made the sound even more painful. However, it seemed to trigger the monster.

What a mess. Alucard shot more bullets.

"Police girl come on now. She doesn't want to see you."

That was a lie. God she wanted to see her. To hold her and tell her everything was okay.

"I can do this all night. " He goaded. She buried her head in her pillow again and fought to drown them out. A cry of pain from Seras had her leaping out of bed. She yanked back the door and saw Seras against the far wall, head down, bloody and worn. Alucard just stood back grinning and waiting for her to rebound. Seras head slowly lifted and when their eyes locked she wished Seras hadn't reflected so much of herself behind the vampire's angry red stare.

Seras jumped to her feet and grinned widely. Alucards bullets slowed her down enough for her to retreat back into her room. That had been a mistake, a painful mistake. Seras was even more worked up now. She could hear her struggle intensifying, angrier shouts and vicious growls. She cried into her pillow and feared what would wait for her the next night.

Alucard was outside her door again. Hiding in the corner as she started her day. She felt like a ghoul, dead, unfeeling yet moving. After what she saw last night she figured Seras was worse off than she was. Alucard looked smug and it was then she knew what she had to do.

Seras had her face buried in her hands, shoulders gently shaking as she sat on the lid of her coffin. There was no way of telling what kind of state she was in but she couldn't find it in herself to let her suffer alone.

"Seras." It hurt to even say her name.

The young blonde whipped her head upwards. The amber eyes that greeted her were full of sorrow but she saw panic quickly take over

"Integra you can't be here ."

She walked over to her and Seras even inched further away. So she stopped, standing halfway between the door and Seras .

"How- how are you?"

Seras closed her eyes forcing back tears. She shook her head to say not well.

"I'm sorry. Seras…"

God was she sorry. This was all her fault. A silence overtook the room, unspoken words struggling to find their escape. There was so much to be said but she didn't know how to say it.

"I'm scared." Seras whispered and it pressed the knife further into her.

"Integra I'm not strong enough…."

"Neither am I." Her voice trembled, the reply thick with emotion.

"I... can't do this to you anymore Seras."

Seras' face morphed into confusion but there was agony there, the same heart pulling agony in her own chest.

"I'm...ready."

"Ready?"

She nodded and unbuttoned the top couple of buttons on her blouse. Seras got the hint immediately.

"No. Integra no no. I can't. B-besides how? "

"You've already claimed me Seras. The general laws of vampirism say it can be done if you want it."

She fell to her knees, brushing away her hair and exposing her neck for Seras. This one act spoke volumes to both of them. Integra had been firm on her stance, denying any passes at becoming a vampire her entire life. And to have her offering it to her made her cry. Integra really cared for her. So much that she was willing to die.

Seras joined her on the floor, kneeling in front of her while taking her thanked fate that they had this moment of clarity with one another, that the force inside of her seemed to be sleeping.

"Are you sure?" Seras eyes were pleading. This choice hadn't been made lightly. She loved the draculina and it was the only way she knew how to express this.

"Go on." She breathed. She pulled on Seras hands urging her to move closer. "Turn me."

Seras didn't hesitate any longer. Sharp biting pain met her neck, and she gripped onto Seras for support. She felt her life force draining but it wasn't cold and despairing like she thought it would be. It felt tender and intimate like Seras was trying to make it as pleasant as possible. Seras thumb softly caressed the inside of her wrist and it was the last feeling her human side remembered. She fell into Seras who quickly held onto her while she tried to push past the haze.

"Seras?" She was so confused. Tired. Very tired.

"You'll have to drink." Seras bit into her own wrist offering up her blood. She quickly latched onto it unaware of just how desperately she was feeding into it. After a couple of seconds too long Seras gently pushed her wrist away and smiled.

"Thank you." Seras choked. arms wrapped around her and Seras buried her face into her neck.

"You did this for me. …"

She stroked Seras hair trying to reason why she did it. But there was no other explanation than love.

Seras kissed her bite mark and planted several more kisses working up her jawline. She still felt for Seras and was relieved it hadn't gone away.

"I love you."

Seras paused in her kisses. A watery smile met her.

"I know and I love you too."


End file.
